Today we had our first ultrasound. It was very surreal! I kept looking at the screen and telling myself "That's inside of me..." but I just couldn't get it to feel "real." Especially when we saw it squirming around but I still didn't feel anything. Growing a baby is the strangest thing I've ever done. I'm not sure that I like it! :PMostly I've felt worried. How do you plan for something like this?
And then there are those of you who are wondering when on earth we decided to go this route... because you know Ken and I decided before we were even engaged that kids weren't something we wanted in our future.
Here's a cut and paste from an email explaining how we got from there to here:
While we were still dating we had agreed that we were certain that neither of us would ever want kids. Then last spring when the Twists were in San Antonio, the topic came up over dinner. Christina was so sad to hear I didn't want kids ("but you'd be such a great mom!") and wanted to know why we had decided against it. I shared our many reasons (money, weekend getaways, going out for dinner, and we all know kids just turn into teenagers and break your heart) and Erik, being the honest friend he's always been, called us out. He said that if we didn't want to have kids that's fine, but we needed to come up with better reasons because he didn't buy that we were really as selfish as the reasons we stated. Ouch.
So on the way home, I asked Ken what he thought about Erik's comments and Ken said "He made some good points." So we decided to not talk about it anymore that evening but to pray about it and see how we felt in the morning. We both woke up smiling, excited about the joy kids could bring to our lives. I remember it was a really scary discussion because I think we were both scared the other wouldn't agree, but we ended up being on the same page. We decided we'd start trying in a year.
I stopped the pill in November, with the intention of starting to try in April. We had unprotected sex only once - and got pregnant! That was March 11. During the week that I was expecting my period, I was really not feeling well. And I was burping like crazy! I was congested and had waves of nausea. I was really craving BarBQ and Pizza - nothing else appealed to me. Ken would joke "Maybe you're pregnant!" and I was like "yeah right." But then the week ended and I still hadn't had my period so I bought a test and voila! That was March 30th.
I decided to keep it all kinda hush-hush until that ultrasound because I was afraid my brides were going to freak out. I didn't want to tell them until the doctor verified everything was as it should be, which meant I couldn't tell many other people because I definitely didn't want my brides to find out third-hand.
But keeping this a secret was really hard! Especially with Ken telling every ear he came across. He's so excited. I'm starting to share that excitement, when I'm not worrying.
My pregnancy is going really smoothly! On the weeks that I'm teaching, my stomach is upset and I get achy, but on the weeks that I'm not teaching I feel great! Just tired - but I love sleeping so I see that as a plus - just an excuse to sleep more than my usual 10 hours. ;)
So back to the sonogram....
They couldn't get a clear picture so they did an internal and got a much better picture. The baby's doing great! Growing at just the right speed and in the right place, good heartrate in the 170s, and we got to see it dance a bit (she said "woo! this cutie's got rhythm!"). We could clearly see both legs and both arms, and the huge head. They gave me the official due date of Dec. 2nd, which puts me at 9 weeks and 2 days today.
Dr. said i look good too. All of the blood and urine tests came back with good results. His only concern is my blood type - I'm negative and Ken's positive, which means the baby could have a different blood type from me and that could cause problems if our bloods mix (due to trauma like a car accident or a bad fall or something) so there's some shot he's going to give me at 28 weeks and then again after delivery.
He wasn't at all worried about my weight so that was reassuring, but I'm still hoping to keep my weight gain at around 15 lbs, just to be safe. I don't want to risk gestational diabetes or anything else.
I'm going to call my december and january brides this afternoon, and then I can tell the world. My only hesitancy is I'm hoping to get a job in Hays CISD (the district we live in) and I'm afraid that they'll discriminate against me if I tell them I'm pregnant. But then, I don't want them to feel like i kept it from them, especially the woman who recommended me for the position. Need to do some more praying about that one....
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